tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 1, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT
finally tonight, former vice president al gore is on the hot seat. police in portland, oregon, have decided to reopen the 2006 sexual assault case brought forward by a masseuse who claims gore tried to have sex with her without her consent. a gore family spokesman released a statement standing by his denial, quote, further investigation into this matter will only benefit mr. gore, end quos. that is our report for tonight. i'm cynthia mcfadden. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight, from the new movie "cyrus," marisa tomei is here. from the new movie "twilight: eclipse," peter facinelli is here. we have music from 3oh!3. and david alan grier goes undercover, boss. >> hola. >> hi.
stop it. hello? you spotted a million dollar accounting error that no one else noticed. that was pretty sweet. but you did have eight layers of sweet crunchy back up. what can i say? you're the man. or -- you know, the little dude. that's me. [ female announcer ] stop mid-morning hunger with kellogg's® frosted mini-wheats® cereal. an excellent source of fiber from 100% whole grain that helps you stay full, so you can stay focused. also, try chocolate little bites. so, how'd the meeting go? outstanding, i wowed them with my chocolate chip center. you can take the heat. 'til it turns into heartburn, you've got what it takes: zantac. it's strong, fast lasting relief. so let them turn up the heat. you can stop that heartburn cold: (sssssssss!!!) zantac. you cwa♪ch this.t heartburn cold: (sssssssss!!!)
♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, ready, set, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. that's very nice, but -- we got to get right into hot topics, okay? sunday is the fourth of july. the day on which we declared our independence from the british and their petroleum, many, many years ago. it is also the day on sunday that we blow stuff up for fun.
when i was in -- i don't know if i told this story. when i was in the fifth grade i blew two fingers off with an m-80. luckily i was born with 12. five on one, seven on the other. it got me down to even. it is important to check local laws to figure out how you can get around them and do fireworks anyway. fireworks are dangerous. no question about that. and every year around this time, someone, i'm not exactly sure who does this, but someone provides tv news broadcasts with video showing how incredibly unsafe it is for man kens to use fireworks. >> you can see some of the dangers they're trying to characterize here, some of the national council fireworks safety's best tips, never use home-made fireworks, only use fireworks outdoors, and if you are drinking, make sure you have a designated shooter. every year, we see these -- and there's a message of safety here, certainly. >> you know, i wait from
february until now to get this video in. >> every year. >> i love it. i love holding the fireworks upside down. i love the mannequins just taking it. i love this video. >> jimmy: if you have a man any ken, if you are made of molded plastic, stay as far away from fireworks as you possibly can. stand in the window, whatever you have to do. many cities have been forced to cancel their fourth of july fireworks celebrations this year because of budget problems, which is disappointmenting. but you don't need the city to make your own fireworks show. all you need is a friend and some inspiration, and tonight, a couple of our security guards are here to show you how to make your own fireworks at home.
>> awesome! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well -- like the -- looks like the beginning part to the worst porno ever. [ laughter ] as i'm sure you've heard by now, last nighted a midnight, the third "twilight" movie opened in theaters. [ cheers and applause ] very -- very strange thing, though. nobody went to see it. they sold no tickets. actually, they sold a lot. they are predicting this to be the highest grossing vampire movie since "love at first bite two." if it goes well next weekend, they may make another one this is the only theater in the united states right now that isn't completely filled with sobbing 13-year-old girls. but apparently, or at least in
the case of one, the movie is not as popular among 13-year-old boys. >> only five minutes of vampires and wolves fighting and two hours of girls taking. thumbs down. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that hair thing, though, however, thumbs up. i think we found our next roger ebert right there. here in l.a. it was different. these young men gave it a much more positive review. >> the fighting and the romance is a perfect blend, like, it's a smootie you want to drink, fur sure. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i feel like that's code for something. well, the guy with the green bandana says it's a smootie you want to drink. put that on the poster. paris hilton is on her way to the world cup in south africa. she tweeted this picture of herself with her luggage. you know, you can buy condoms in
south africa. [ applause ] let's look at that picture again. let me tell you something. i move to a new house last year, i don't think i packed that much. most of the bags are probably filled with text books or something, you know? novels. for the first time since the tournament began on june 11th, there was no world cup action today, which turned out to be not much different from when there is world cup action. there was one fewer goal scored today than in yesterday's games combined. this morning, i spent an hour and a half at my desk going, oh, oh -- ah -- every night for a couple weeks now we've been bringing you the world cup play of the day, but because there were no games today, we weren't able to do that. please enjoy the elena kagan supreme court confirmation hearing moment of the day. >> don't ask, don't tell law that you opposed so much there.
and -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that was it. so now she advances to play, like -- paraguay or something. today was the third day of the hearings. president obama nominated kagan to replace john paul stevens. there's no job in this country more important than supreme court justice. and they're appointed to life so you need to be thorough about vetting who you pick, you don't want to wind up with david hasselhoff. last night, we showed al franken falling asleep during the hearing. tonight, we bring you -- who cares. who contributed this. >> you had a grueling day yesterday and did incredibly well but i guess it means you missed the midnight debut of the third "twilight" movie last night. we did not miss it in our
household and it culminated in three 15-year-old -- >> i didn't see that. >> i just had a feeling. i keep wanting to ask you about the famous case of edward versus jacob or the vampire -- >> i wish you wouldn't. >> jimmy: she's going to be a lot of fun, it seems like. you know -- the senator should know if you want to talk "twilight" in the supreme court, you go to ruth baden ginsberg. so that cost us $12 in taxpayer money, i think. this is pretty great. this is from "the bachelor." the show ended four months ago, but the drama seems to be just getting started. vienna, the young lady jake picked though no one liked her, just did another interview with "star." apparently on the reunion special that airs monday night, vienna called jake a fame whore. but today she told "star" she'll
be appearing in "playboy" later this year. somebody needs to pull her aside and just explain what fame whore means, because she said "playboy" offered her $250,000, she needs the money and she's been looking for the opportunity to show the world her genitals, so it all works out. but here's the twist. "playboy" says they have no idea what she's talking about. a spokesman said we haven't spoken to vienna. she said she filled out the little cardboard form in the middle of the magazine and thought it was a done deal, but -- so, unless she had -- [ applause ] i don't know, unless -- i don't know who she was -- unless she had a, this negotiation with hugh hefner and he forgot, something is very, very wrong with this crew. some good news on the other hand, for oprah winfrey. after being ousted from the top spot last year by angelina jolie, oprah has reclaimed the
number one spot on forbes annual ranking of the world's most powerful celebrities. she won it by pulling a 747 with her teeth which is incredible. i'm anamed of forbes for doubting her last year. never doubt oprah. i think it's quite fitting tonight that we celebrate tonight by all singing the oprah song. is everyone ready? okay. please rise. and let's begin. ♪ all hail oprah ♪ she keeps us safe and sound ♪ and if we ever doubt her ♪ she'll unleash her evil hounds ♪ ♪ they'll hunt us down and kill us ♪ ♪ by ripping us in halves ♪ all hail oprah ♪ or die while oprah latches
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all hail, oprah. now go get that oil spill. all right. i hope -- i hope our humble offerings have pleased her. one more thing, happy birthday to my friend, very talented man named david alan grier. he's making -- he's appearing live this friday night in las vegas. if you want to go see him, you should. the reason i mention david is because he's upset. recently, dag shot an episode of "undercover boss" but cbs refused to air it. so we got the footage, and for his birthday tonight, we thought it would be nice to show some of it. here's david alan grier, undercover boss. >> each week, we follow the boss of a major corporation as they go undercover inside their own company.
this week, comedian, actor, writer and "dancing with the stars" runner-up. >> it's [ bleep ] up. >> david alan grier. >> being self-employed, i'm really not the boss of anyone, except my housekeeper. today, i'm going undercover to find out what she does all day when i'm not here. >> wora? i'm going to go. do you want me to pick up anything while i'm out? >> okay. >> is that no? nothing? okay. listen, i hired a special assistant, like a helper to help you work today. he'll be here shortly. but you won't know who he is. i'll see you later. >> all right, mr. david. >> okay, bye-bye. what wora doesn't know is that her new assistant is actually me, in disguise.
>> hola. >> hi. [ speaking foreign language ] i'm going to helping you clean mr. david casa. >> i'm not mexican. >> what? >> i'm thai. >> oh, my gosh. i was devastated by her honesty. wora, do you think mr. david is handso handsome? >> he's okay. i know like bald. what? you don't like his balls? >> bald, this bald. >> oh, oh, bald. what? sometimes it was extremely difficult to maintain my cover, and my dialect. you know, mr. david is very famous comic. >> oh, okay.
>> you think he's funny? >> i think so. >> oh, oh, oh. these are not mr. david's. i think wora is really starting to buy into my hector persona. hola! but now it's time for the ultimate test. wora -- >> oh, money from mr. david. >> you take one, i take one. he'll never know. >> no, no, no. >> come on. >> no, no, no. no. >> what? >> no. >> oh, my gosh. it was finally time to come clean with the cleaning lady. wora, i have to sell you something. i am mr. david. >> okay.
>> i've really learned to appreciate wora so much. this thing called work she does with her hands, her attention to detail, her work ethic. it's allowed me to live my life as freely as i see fit. >> can i get paid now? >> don't ruin this. please? >> next week, the smoking baby goes undercover as a tobacco economy executive. >> jimmy: all right, thank you, david. on the show tonight, from "twilight," peter facinelli, music from 3oh!3, and we'll be right back with marisa tomei. ♪ hi, you ready to order?
[ indistinct conversations ] uh, yohoo?! sorry, big win tonight. [ sizzling, conversations stop ] thanks steve. [ sizzling ] works every time. we'll have that. [ male announcer ] come to applebee's today for new sizzling entrees starting at $8.99. try the spicy asian shrimp, steak and cheese, or chicken with queso blanco from only $8.99! fresh flavor never sounded so good. only at applebee's. now open till midnight or later. [ male announcer ] this is our beach. ♪ this is our pool. ♪ our fireworks. ♪ and our slip and slide. you have your idea of summer fun, and we have ours. now during the summer event get an exceptionally engineered mercedes-benz for an exceptional price. but hurry, this offer ends soon.
for an exceptional price. fish: see? you're on the bright side already-- green tea with citrus, sunny day. so...if it's cool with you, i'm gonna go for a quick swim. heh. be right back. [grunts] announcer: lipton--drink on the bright side. fish: hey! whoo! hey man, how ya doin'? how's your shave? kinda like tuggin' and pullin'. see how shaving can cause irritating tug and pull? [ male announcer ] that's why gillette's introducing the revolutionary new fusion proglide. it glides... like literally. [ male announcer ] now, fusion proglide has been engineered with gillette's thinnest blades ever
already earned $3.8 billion in ticket sales, peter facinelli is here. also tonight, making their second appearance on the show -- this is their new album, it's called "streets of gold", from boulder, colorado, 3oh!3, from the bud light stage. tomorrow night -- dakota fanning is here, grocery list collector bill keaggy will join us. and we will hear music from korn. our first guest tonight is an academy award and an oscar winner. you can see her now sandwiched between john c. reilly and jonah hill in the new movie 'cyr 'cyrus." please say hello to marisa tomei. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you -- you look fantastic. >> thanks. >> jimmy: you don't feel like you do? >> no.
>> jimmy: you look pretty good to me, i'll tell you that. you know what, i was talking to chris rock about the fourth of july in brooklyn. you grew up there. people were asking me afterwards if we were kidding, but it's crazy. >> no, it's insane. it's insane. it's apocalyptic. >> jimmy: i remember being a kid, i think it must have been worse when i was a kid than it is now. >> well, i haven't been back on fourth of july in a number of years to really know. but you would just -- i would just get in the car to kind of joyride through the streets to see what kind of mayhem people were up to and just like, bonfire, turn a corner and just like, huge bonfires in the middle of the street. boys were their shifts off, running around, being really wild. >> jimmy: when you're in the car, you're not really -- you are driving, but they see you as, like, a -- if it was an arcade, you would be a duck to be shot at. the roman candles. >> they were involved enough that we could be jungle habitat,
like, oh, look at the insanity outside. >> jimmy: a wild animal safari. only more dangerous. it really was. and you get inventive. we had some kids on the block who would make their own fireworks, using like duct tape and, like, you duct tape like 300 roman candle sticks together. >> so you were the guys i was watching when -- >> jimmy: i really wasn't. because i wasn't allowed -- my mother did not allow me to have any fireworks, so i would just kind of stand back and, like, sometimes they would say, help break firecrackers to pour gun pounder in this bomb. and i would sit there and do it and pretend to be cool, but -- did your mom -- >> no, i have a brother, but i would always worry that he was going to get into trouble. >> jimmy: and he didn't? >> no, he was fine. >> jimmy: were you good kids? yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: if you survived the fourth of july, what would your family do for the summer in brooklyn? >> once we survived that mayhem? we would go upstate and weapon had a little, a place from when
i was a little kid, this little colony upstate. >> jimmy: you had a colony? >> we didn't have a colony, we were part of the community, like, kind of like a commune, but not quite, and -- >> jimmy: really? >> you're looking at me like -- window into marisa. >> jimmy: does it involved a strange religious cult. your family is italians. they don't get involved in that kind of thing. >> no, well -- >> jimmy: maybe they do. all right, well, go what would on in the colony? >> let's just stick with the idyllic part. >> jimmy: i'm dying to know. >> there was a little red barn in the middle of 17 acres. it was small. it was very, very idyllic, not look your doors, walk around as a little kid, you -- you'd have a lunch at anyone's house and, you know, or people would brian lunch to the beach and it wasn't
necessarily your mom feeding you. really sweet. and weapon h had that barn and everyone would put on shows. that's how i kind of starts. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i had the uhh from brooklyn and the -- >> jimmy: what kind of shows did you put on? >> musicals. we did some tap dancing. we did some folk singing. >> jimmy: would your brother tap dance as well? >> he's an excellent tap dancer. >> jimmy: see, know, my little brother took tap lessons and i almost sued my parents. >> you felt gypped? >> jimmy: no, no, no. i wanted him to be a baseball player and not tapping. >> you were going to sue them because he wasn't the brother you wanted? >> jimmy: no, because they weren't the parents we wanted. that's why. >> oh, so -- >> jimmy: that's why. >> so it was like a joint suit. >> jimmy: well, my brother and i were the plaintiffs and he didn't know any better. i was like, what are you doing
to this kid? but yeah. you guys tapped, huh? >> it was elegant. >> jimmy: did the whole family? >> yeah, my aunt taught tap and my brother learned it and then he brought it home and we all -- yes. >> jimmy: you're like the von tap family. >> there was a period of my life that i was in tap class with my mom and dad actually. >> jimmy: really? who is your all-time favorite tap dancer? >> this is -- i should have brought a lawsuit. >> jimmy: who was your tap dancing idol, gregory hines or somebody like that? >> gene kelly. >> jimmy: i got you. that's something else. and that's where you got interested in -- in the barn of all places. usually nothing good happens in a barn. now this movie is great, by the way. i really liked it. it's called "cyrus." you had two directors on the movie. how does that work? do they fight as brothers or, the older one baepts the younger
one up? >> not that we saw. no, they seemed to be of one mind. >> jimmy: it's very -- it starts off, seems kind of normal, like a romantic, and there's a moment where it takes a very, very odd twist. >> awkward. >> jimmy: and the three of you, john c. riley, jonah hill are all great. very believable. really good. i enjoyed it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: those two guys are -- they usually do comedies, especially jonah, and this is funny but not necessarily entirely comedy. >> no, well, it has -- it's kind of a dark comedy but it is a broad comedy also. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. i don't want to ruin it by going into too much detail. well, we have a clip here that we can ruin it with. >> all right, let's ruin it. >> jimmy: this will give you, i think, a sense of kind of the relationship that your character has with her son, played by jonah and, which is hard -- a little bit hard to believe, i mean, because, you know, he's 22 and i don't know --
>> 21 1/2. >> jimmy: he's 21 1/2, that's right, in the movie. and john c. riley who is kind of your -- >> he's my suitor at this stage. my lover who is trying to move in to be my suitor. >> jimmy: exactly this is kind of the first time he's come to the house without -- >> without me knowing. >> jimmy: here's a look at the movie, it's called "cyrus" in theaters now. >> sounds like steve miller, you know, that one steve miller song? >> no it doesn't. ♪ ♪ >> hey.
hi, sorry. i was in the neighborhood and cyrus came out and let me in -- i'm sorry. >> hi. >> jimmy: that's "cyrus" in theaters now. thank you for coming. great to see you. we'll be right back with peter facinelli. ♪ [ male announcer ] first is the beginning. first kicks open the door, and possibilities follow. ♪ first resets everything. first moves us forward fast. ♪ we all want first. first isn't later. it's now. what will you do first with evo, the first 4g phone? only from sprint, the now network. deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities access www.sprintrelay.com. -so many of your -favorite subway -footlongs -are $5.
so many! -just $5. -can't beat that. [ male announcer ] everyone loves subway $5 footlong subs. now try the newest $5 footlong sub, the new orchard chicken salad. subway. eat fresh. quick question... what does she see in him? well, his scrubbing surface is 30% larger these days. [ spray bottle ] yea, that was rhetorical. [ liquid cleaner ] one more thing, he cleans three times more soap scum per swipe than you, so ha. see, i don't think you know what rhetorical means. oh look at this, this is where he says "i'm mr. clean, i don't just clean, i bring out the shine, too!" ding! [ liquid cleaner ] what was that? [ spray bottle ] that was the noise a shine makes...or so i'm told. i've never actually done it. [ male announcer ] remove three times more soap scum per swipe with the new mr. clean magic eraser bath scrubber.
hey bets, can i borrow a quarter? sure, still not dry? i'm trying to shrink them. i lost weight and now some clothes are too big. how did you do it? simple stuff. eating right and i switched to whole grain. whole grain... [ female announcer ] people who eat more whole grain tend to have a healthier body weight. multigrain cheerios has five whole grains and 110 calories per serving. multigrain cheerios. try new chocolate cheerios with a touch of delicious chocolate taste in every bite. at olive garden the other night. c'mon pass a breadstick to your favorite uncle. ohhhh!!! ohhhh!!! we had a ball. announcer: try olive garden's two new parmesan polenta crusted dishes. sauteed chicken breasts topped with a golden parmesan crust. or try our tender steak medallions. both with mezzaluna ravioli filled with four italian cheeses in our creamy alfredo. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. you know, these kids are growing up a lot like we did... yeah, around family. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family.
>> jimmy: we're back. 3oh!3 is still to come. much like cliff huxtable or ward cleaver, our next guest is a caring father who works hard to teach his kids important lessons, like not to ever drink their friends' blood and things like that. he plays dr. carlisle cullen in "the twilight saga: eclipse," in theaters now. please say hello to peter facinelli. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's happening? >> how are you? >>. >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank
you. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. fourth of july is coming up. what are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm going to barbecue, that's what i formally do. how about you? >> do you shoot the fireworks off? >> jimmy: you know what, there was an arrest a few years ago so we stopped. >> i didn't even know they were illegal because everybody had them. >> jimmy: where did you grow up? >> in queens. you couldn't drive down the street because the streets were all closed because there were just plumes of smoke and my friend, his dad was a welder, so he would weld these pipes so, they were bottle rockets. six-inch mortars that -- it was like disney land. >> jimmy: what was your friends name? >> his dad's name was arcadio. john gotti lived in that neighborhood so they would do huge fireworks specials.
>> jimmy: the mafia would put them on? >> i don't know if he's atill yated with the mafia. i'm not saying that. >> jimmy: wow. we need them now to give us some fi fireworks here. >> it was like a speak easy. you would go to the garage and buy fireworks. >> jimmy: in the basement, people would have fireworks. >> you would -- my dad would give me 100 bucks, go buy them. >> jimmy: really? i'm going to kill my parents. i cannot imagine my father giving me so much as a dollar to buy a foirwork. >> it was like the big festival. >> jimmy: i know. tell them that. that's what i tried to explain -- >> did you shoot them off? bottle rockets? >> jimmy: very sadly, and this is true, on july 5th, i would dig through the trash in the streets, because the streets in brooklyn would be filled with trash, looking for something to light on fire and throw at my sister. that's all i wanted. >> did you ever, because when i was -- i had fireworks go off in
my than, the firecrackers and my hand swelled up -- >> jimmy: i've had that. when i reached adulthood i started buying everything that explodes -- >> now you have a tnt factory in your -- >> jimmy: i wish i did. but no, i don't. >> i know a guy who knows a guy that can get you -- >> jimmy: your parents are from italy originally. did they bring their italian traditions over and kind of -- >> my dad tried to make me play the accordion. >> jimmy: did he really? really? did he get you a monkey, at least? >> he plays the accordion so he tried to -- you have to play the accordion and i didn't -- it was big and, you know, there are easier instruments to play. that's a dedication. you have to -- my dad carries that thing around, like, to every party. and i was the monkey that would have to carry -- go get my accordion out of the trunk of the car. >> jimmy: the little red hat on
and scamper. are people happy when your dad brings it out? >> no. no. he doesn't play that well. sorry, dad. >> jimmy: no one really does. you can't really -- there's only so much you can do on it. >> it's a beast of an instrument. and he only plays polka music. if he did "stairway to heaven" that would be cool. >> jimmy: he's italian. he's a confused man. were you in a colony or anything when you were a kid? >> no, but we had this cabin upstate new york and that was like our summer getaway, you know, for vacations, and it was like work camp. like, i would go up there and he would just put me to work on the cabin, like, i'd be painting it and cutting grass, chopping down trees, so it was never fun. it was never a vacation. i remember going -- we finished the whole week and there was nothing left to do and finally i got in the hammock and i was like, i see my dad walk by with
a wheelbarrow with rocks in it. what are you doing? i'm going to make a river bed with rocks. so then i had to go and, like, get boulders and help him -- >> jimmy: you could have want to accordion practice. >> i should have. >> jimmy: you would have gotten out of that. you brought a cool video along, and this is from -- this is something that -- one of the guys shot while you were shooting -- >> i shot that. >> jimmy: of yourself? >> i taped my phone into the truck in front of me. >> jimmy: you did? >> i have a bootleg copy of me doing my own stunts. >> jimmy: this is very interesting. now -- this is like a green screen thick where they put -- and this looks dangerous to me, by the way. widedy you have to be moving? >> you don't want to do that. we were kind of strapped in, if you fell forward, your face would hit -- it would be ugly. >> jimmy: george jetson, suddenly. you would go flying off that.
you couldn't go anywhere because you with kind of buckled in but your body would move forward. if i fell, my face would hit the mat and i kept have visions of my face hitting the, you know, the thing and just ripping my whole body to this reds. >> jimmy: this is how it kind of -- it looked, now, here, there you are running on the thing, and this is how it looks in the movie. >> that's so weird. >> jimmy: this is literally two seconds of the movie you risked your life for. >> they would have us do that -- thank you. [ cheers and applause ] they had us do that, like, over and over and over so we were running for six hours. >> jimmy: is there any possibility they're trying to kill you? >> well, they need me for the next movie, so -- >> jimmy: i know you have -- [ applause ] you have three daughters? i have three. >> jimmy: how old are they? >> one just turned 13 yesterday. now i have a teenager. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i took her on a shopping spree. >> jimmy: nice. >> i shopped until i dropped.
which was about seven minutes. >> jimmy: did you say -- how does it work? do you say, listen, there's a limit, or, does she -- is she just kind of cool with that? >> she's more conscious about it than i am. is it okay? this is on sale. i'm like, no, you get what you want, you know. >> jimmy: that's the way to do it, if you're a kid. >> exactly. >> jimmy: be humble about it. >> we got her a pig. >> jimmy: this is -- not just a pill, but the tiniest pig i've seen in my life. what is the pig's name? >> she named it mia hamm. because she loves soccer, so, she's going to actually -- she's going to teach it to play soccer. it's going to be in the world cup. >> jimmy: really? how. it's going to be a ball in the world cup is what it's going to be. and what happens? does it stay this size? >> it gets a little bigger. >> jimmy: how big? >> probably the size of a chevy. but -- but we have a ranch up
north and we're moving up there. >> jimmy: you are going to ride the pig to the ranch? >> when it gets bigger. >> jimmy: so it's going to be big -- >> a ranch pig. we're not going to eat it. >> jimmy: no? yeah, probably not a good idea to eat your -- >> we have goats and chickens -- >> jimmy: i've been thinking of getting chickens. >> don't do that. we have a chicken house and they're really mean. >> jimmy: i'm not looking to, like, hang out with them -- i want the eggs. >> but they don't give them up. when they you go to get the eggs, they peck at your hands. they don't want you to eat their babies. >>jimmy: it's just yolk in there. >> it depends if they get to the rooster. sometimes there's other stuff. infant stage. >> jimmy: people have been telling that chickens are great -- >> they have fertile and nonfertile eggs. >> jimmy: that's what i want. they don't give those up? >> no, no. >> jimmy: maybe i'll get -- >> i'll bring you fresh eggs.
it's a pretty big deal. o! i just parked here a second ago! give me a break, will you? (announcer) dr. scholl's massaging gel insoles with two different gels for softness and support... ...are outrageously comfortable. ...on second thought, i think i'll walk... (announcer) are you gellin'? dr. scholl's so why use the same hand towel over and over, instead of a clean, fresh one every time? ♪ new kleenex® brand hand towels. a clean, fresh towel every time. hi, you ready to order? [ indistinct conversations ]
uh, yohoo?! sorry, big win tonight. [ sizzling, conversations stop ] thanks steve. [ sizzling ] works every time. we'll have that. [ male announcer ] come to applebee's today for new sizzling entrees starting at $8.99. try the spicy asian shrimp, steak and cheese, or chicken with queso blanco from only $8.99! fresh flavor never sounded so good. only at applebee's. now open till midnight or later. we'll send one to our dedicated troops overseas... amy: for free! wesley: somebody get that girl a flag tee! josh: copy that. supermodelquins: we're the supermodelquins and we approve these flag tees.
tj? he's probably still writing that declaration. [ all ] ha, ha. [ jefferson ] whoa! oh, there he is. gentlemen... here we go! ♪ living in america would you like to be the second lady? ♪ who loves the benjamin? ♪ living in america [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just-right taste of bud light. here we go.
we should do this every fourth of july. dove's one quarter moisturizers soothes skin after shaving. it went on so comfortably. my underarms feel great. i'm ready. now your underarms are ready when you are. ♪ if you're taking an antidepressant and still feel depressed, one option your doctor may consider is adding abilify. abilify treats depression in adults
when added to an antidepressant. some people had symptom improvement in as early as one to two weeks after adding abilify. now with the abilify (me+) program, your first two weeks of abilify can be free. abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles and confusion to address a possible life-threatening condition. or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with abilify and medicines like it. in some cases, extreme high blood sugar can lead to coma or death. other risks include decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious, dizziness upon standing, seizures, trouble swallowing, and impaired judgment or motor skills. adding abilify has made a difference for me. [ male announcer ] visit abilifyoffer.com for your free trial offer. and ask your doctor
♪ my first kiss went a little like this -- and twist -- and twist ♪ ♪ well my first kiss went a little like this -- and twist -- and twist ♪ ♪ i said no more teachers and no more books ♪ ♪ i got a kiss under the bleachers hoping that nobody looked ♪ ♪ lips like licorice tongue like candy ♪ ♪ excuse me - miss but can i get you out your panties ♪ ♪ in the back of the car on the way to the bar i got you on my lips i got you on my lips ♪ ♪ at the foot of the stairs with my fingers in your hair baby - this is it ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ooh -- ooh -- ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that
i'd make her say ooh-- ooh-- ♪ ♪ my first kiss went a little like this ♪ ♪ i said no more sailors and no more soldiers ♪ ♪ with your name in a heart tattooed up on the shoulders ♪ ♪ your kiss is like whiskey it gets me drunk ♪ ♪ and i wake up in the morning with the taste of your tongue ♪ ♪ in the back of the car on the way to the bar i got you on my lips i got you on my lips ♪ ♪ at the foot of the stairs with my fingers in your hair baby - this is it ooh ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ooh -- ooh -- ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ooh --
ooh -- ♪ ♪ my first kiss went a little like this -- and twist -- and twist ♪ ♪ my first kiss went a little like this -- and twist -- and twist ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ooh -- ooh -- ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ooh -- ooh -- ♪ ♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ooh -- ooh -- ♪
♪ she won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch if i had it my way ♪ ♪ you know that i'd make her say ♪ [ male announcer ] nature valley sweet & salty nut bars... they're made from whole roasted nuts and dipped in creamy peanut butter... ♪ ...making your craving for a sweet & salty bar... ♪ ...irresistible. by nature valley. ♪